The greatest gift a mother can give her child is love and acceptance. While this sounds so logical and perhaps even easy, it goes much deeper than simple unconditional love. It takes a fierce commitment to let go of expectations and control….and yet, at the same time a strong desire to lead by example.
During the difficult years of raising a daughter with autism, I struggled with the loss that comes from the uncontrollable nature of autism – the sleepless nights, erratic behaviors, tantrums, trouble transitioning, hitting, tummy troubles, inability to understand rules or learn incidentally. This is a grieving process that comes and goes over years, resurfacing every time there is a set back or challenge.
Yet I wanted to be in the fight, not sitting on the sidelines. So, I learned how to be the hero, not the victim. I learned how to be not only her hero, but my own hero. While it was a conscious decision to choose the road less traveled, it was still lonely. I doubted myself often.
That’s when I learned to trust and rely on my intuition.
Intuition grounds us in presence and keeps us focused on what is most important. And on the flip side, when we are out of touch with our inner world, we lose a sense of stability.
Truly, there is nothing more powerful than a mother’s intuition. When your child was just a tiny baby, you intuitively knew when their cries were about hunger, a diaper change or sleep. Without thinking you would give them what they needed.
That same inner knowing is still within you. Yet there are so many outer forces that block us from tuning in.
Before we evolved into a industrialized, technologically advanced society, humans, like all other animals, relied on instinct to survive. That is where we operated from, an inner knowing that communicated with our outer environment.
Now, our outer environment controls our inner being. This is because we put our faith in technology, the mixed messages from the media, what society labels “normal” and the varying opinions of friends and family.
The idea that so many people are out of touch with their intuition and instincts may be the reason why we have so much DIS- EASE despite the medical advances that come with the fast paced development of technology. And this also includes mental health.
The worst part about losing sight of our intuition is that we have defaulted to the practice of making decisions based on doubt, fear and avoidance.
After all, it is scary to dig deeper, look inside and explore our vulnerability when we are afraid of being caught in a vulnerable position. So we wear a mask to protect ourselves.We create habits that are based on lies. And we forget about all the power we have within.
This creates a fog that prevents us from seeing the true beauty of our existence. Yet finding that truth is how we find happiness and inner peace. Once we are able to access our intuition, and trust its power, that is when we will find clarity and the answers we seek.
If you feel like you are spinning, in a fog, confused about where you are going or where you’ve been, it’s time to tune back into your innate wisdom. In order to do so, it takes consciousness, being in a calm place of peaceful knowing. I’m here if you need help.
One of the greatest gifts of autism has been learning to let go of all expectations, to rely on presence, acceptance and love. It is a daily practice for which my greatest teacher is Kelly. This has made life unusual for me and yet so abundant in love.
So this year, on Mother’s Day I am celebrating karma, the karma that comes from mothering with love and acceptance. Now, thanks to karma, I can say with complete gratitude that it is always worth every single “sacrifice”.
Listening to my intuition has been quite frankly the greatest gift. It has created a whole new world view, with wide-open green meadows, full of delicate colorful flowers that gently sway with the breeze. And even if they wilt in the sun or topple over with a heavy rain, they still find a way to stand back up.